Are you already exhausted just thinking about setting new goals for yourself?

Here’s what used to happen every time I tried losing weight or start a new routine. I’d find the perfect system, I’d start strong, sometimes even hold out for a few weeks, but then life hits. The kids get sick. Work explodes. You miss a day, then a week.

Every time I “fall off the wagon,” that voice in my head whispers “See? You’re just not disciplined enough. You cannot figure this out. Your just destined to be fat for ever.”

And here’s what makes me angry: Why should wanting to improve your life require you to change into an unsustainable version of yourself and end up hating yourself in the process?

The world tells women they need to be perfect or give up.

What if I told you there’s a way to create real change without the self-torture?

I Used to Be You (And Here’s What Changed Everything)

I can already hear you saying, “Chanelle, I barely have time to do grocery shopping, how will I find time to set goals and achieve them?” I understand completely. I used to believe that too. I thought change required those exhausting systems where you set the annual goal, break it into quarterly milestones, reverse engineer monthly targets, and track weekly and daily habits.

This system works beautifully, if you have endless time, energy, and bandwidth. But when your life has you spinning in place? When dinner needs to be made and laundry’s piling up? It becomes one more thing you’re failing at.

That’s when I discovered something that changed everything, keeping in mind that we’re all different, and our goal approach should be too.

Your Simple 3-Step Plan (No Overwhelm Required)

Here’s what I’m going to help you do instead:

Step 1: Discover Your Natural Goal-Setting Style

Step 2: Choose Your Year in One Word (Not Twelve Goals)

Step 3: Start Embarrassingly Small

Step 1: Discover Your Natural Goal-Setting Style

Most goal-setting advice assumes we’re all the same. We’re not. I’ve identified four distinct personality types, and understanding yours changes everything:

💙 The Driver (Analytical + Driven)

Your strength: Structure and laser focus

Your risk: Burning out from unrealistic expectations

What you need: Permission to rest and imperfection

💙 The Visionary (Creative + Driven)

Your strength: Big-picture thinking and inspiration

Your risk: Starting 12 projects and finishing none

What you need: One clear focus for the year

💙 The Planner (Analytical + Relaxed)

Your strength: Steady, consistent progress

Your risk: Playing it so safe you never really change

What you need: Courage to dream bigger

💙 The Dreamer (Creative + Relaxed)

Your strength: Intuition and adaptability

Your risk: Lacking structure to make dreams reality

What you need: Simple systems that flex with your nature

Which one are you? Understanding your type is the first step to setting goals that actually work with your personality, not against it. [Want to take the full assessment? Go here]

Step 2: Choose Your Future-Dream-Self in One Word (Not Twelve Goals)

Here’s why we pick one word instead of setting twelve goals: Your word becomes the bridge between who you are right now and who you dream of becoming.

When life gets messy (and it will), when you’re tired (and you will be), when you want to quit (and you might) – your word reminds you of the person you’re becoming. It’s not about how perfect we can sustain our actions; it’s about consistent we can stay with them each day.

Your word gives you permission to take imperfect action toward becoming that dream version of yourself.

Forget pressure words like “discipline” or “hustle” or “perfect.” Pick a word that gives you permission to show up messy, tired, and still trying.

My word is ‘steady’. Because this year, I’m not chasing perfection. I’m choosing consistency. I’m showing up even when it’s hard, even when it’s imperfect, even when I don’t feel like it.

What does your Future-Dream-Self look like? What word captures that identity? Write it down right now.

Step 3: Start Embarrassingly Small

Did you know that if you can make one small change every two weeks for an entire year, you’ll have built 26 new sustainable habits by the end? Just imagine what your life could become.

But here’s what I mean by embarrassingly small, it’s even smaller than you think:

If your dream-self is healthy. Don’t start with “work out for an hour.” Start with choosing where you’ll move for 10 minutes that day. Just that day, not the whole week.

If your dream-self is organized. Don’t start with “declutter the whole house.” Start with clearing one small surface for 10 minutes – your nightstand, kitchen counter, wherever feels easiest.

If your dream-self is peaceful. Don’t start with “meditate for 20 minutes.” Start with three deep breaths before your feet hit the floor in the mornings.

Here’s the thing. you’ve probably broken promises to yourself before. We all have. So we’re going to start with promises so ridiculously small that you literally cannot fail. Because the goal isn’t really the action, it’s proving to yourself that you’re someone who follows through.

What’s your smallest step towards your dream-self? Choose one tiny action you could start tomorrow.

Picture Your Life One Year From Now

Imagine this: It’s 6 months from now, you originally set a health goal to walk 10 minutes a day. That movement helped you gain momentum to choose no sugar and eventually you could walk 30 minutes a day. How will that shift how you feel about yourself?

Let’s have another dream: You want to declutter your house. You decided to wake up 10minutes earlier each morning to tackle one area of your house in that time. You wake up in a home that feels peaceful instead of chaotic. You have space to breathe, space to think. In one year, you’ll have reclaimed your entire house, 10 minutes at a time.

You no longer dread goal-setting because you know how to work with your natural rhythm instead of against it. That voice in your head quiets down and is more compassionate and builds your confidence, because you’ve proven to yourself that you can create change without the self-torture.

But What Happens If You Don’t Start

Nothing. Another year will come and go. You’ll set the same goals with the same broken systems. And fail. Week after week, you’ll be back in that familiar cycle of guilt, falling off the wagon, and restarting again.

That voice will get louder: “See? No use trying even more.”

And another year will pass where you stayed stuck because change felt too hard, too complicated and like too much willpower is needed that you don’t have energy for.

Your Next Move

Right now, before you close this tab:

→ Choose your word for the year – Write it somewhere you’ll see daily

→ Pick one embarrassingly small habit – Something so tiny it feels almost silly

→ Start tomorrow – Not Monday, not next month, tomorrow

If you’re stuck on what the next right step is for you, I have a coaching group on Patreon where I’ll help you figure it out.

The Simple Shift is a space designed to support your goals without the overwhelm.

Why does this matter? Because you cannot show up in the best way for your family, partner and your career, if you put yourself last. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

If you enjoyed this then perhaps you will enjoy reading this next:

💙 Goal Setting for Busy Women: The One Goal Method

💙 How to Simplify Life as a Busy Woman: 5 Simple Habits That Changed Everything for Me

💙 Stress vs Overwhelm vs Anxiety: How to Tell the Difference and Find Calm

Here’s to finding calm in the chaos. Because you can fall in love with your life again.

Until next time,

ChanDrew ❤️